What did I learn? God is the ultimate writer, producer and director of every historical event and no one participates by accident. Each has a specific role no matter whether it is major or minor in the world’s eyes, in God’s eyes each player is of equal importance and God lives through each part with each player.
Let me illustrate this through an event in my life. One Sunday night, on my way to church, I suddenly changed my mind and turned the car toward a movie theatre. I wanted to see “Amistad.” I profusely apologized to the Lord. “I’m so sorry I’m not going to church tonight. I want to see “Amistad,” and I’m just not turning this car around, but please don’t be angry with me.”
The Lord interrupted. “Can’t you see I’m going with you?”
Speechless, I mulled this over. His words did not stump me, but His attitude did. He sounded excited to go to this movie with me. I said, “Lord, you were with the writer when he wrote the script, you directed the movie through the director, you produced the movie, in fact, you know everything about this movie that there is to know. How can you be enthusiastic about going with me?”
He said, “Yes, but I’ve never seen it through your eyes.” My role as spectator of this movie was evidently as important to Him as the person who wrote the script!
Which leads me to this: once again, as a very young Christian, I had a vision while praying. I really don’t know if I should call this a vision or a visual word of knowledge. I saw myself in the womb of my mother when she was about six months pregnant and again, I saw her riding in a bus. She had just been with my father who announced he was leaving the country to join the British troops in the war against Germany. She would have to face the birth alone. I knew that she knew that, but hope does spring from the human heart and she had hoped he would reconcile with her and be a daddy to his baby.
Now, sitting on the bus, she ricocheted between smoldering rage and pathetic self-pity. I, from my perch inside her body, understood my mother completely. I knew her thoughts, I knew her feelings, I knew her fears, I knew her loves, I knew her hatreds, I knew her responsibilities, I knew her dreams. My only concern in life was her. I lived inside her. Her world was all I knew.
I was on her side. No matter what anyone else said or did, my Mom was the be-all, end-all for me. I assumed an attitude of huffiness about this man who had sired me. We’ll show him! We’ll make our mark on this world and he’ll be so jealous, but we won’t take him back. Never! Children are called “gifts” from God because we are sent to our mothers. We know them better than they will ever know us.
In the same manner, someone lives on the inside of me who knows me better than I know myself. The Holy Spirit of God fills me up. He is on my side no matter what. He eschews the worldly attitudes my little human soul has already accrued, but my world is His world. My concerns are His concerns. He thoroughly understands me. He knows my thoughts, my feelings, my fears, my loves, my hatreds, my responsibilities, my dreams and He lives to guide me through to the other side. To the side of freedom; the side of God. He knows me and He loves me completely.