There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love (1 John 4:18). The first time I actually experienced, with impact, the love of God for me, I was sitting in the Mabee Center in Tulsa, Oklahoma, with thousands and thousands of other people. While everyone else in the auditorium rippled with excitement, I sat quietly in my seat and dialogued with the Lord. I said something to the effect of: “Lord, I am single. I can serve you better this way, but it means I miss out on many things I’d like to have. I’d like the companionship of a man. I’d like to lean my head on his shoulder. I’d like to hold his hand while walking. I’d like being loved by a man. And what about sex?” I’ve written about His response before this, but every time I visit a previous revelation I’ve had (because I journal them), I find myself deeper into previously unrevealed revelation. This time, please note exactly what the Lord said at the end of my experience. He wasn’t just speaking to me. He said, “Would you like to experience My love for you?” I said, “Sure,” wondering if that wasn’t what I was already living in. Around me everyone else was on their feet, clapping and singing, and I sat quietly while I felt the Holy Spirit fill my body, slowly, and then it was as if a volcano erupted inside me! And I was hot. I don’t mean warm or excited, I mean boiling hot. I thought the top of my head would blow off and all the fireworks from inside would go shooting out into the auditorium. My soul was vibrating. I expected the row of connected chairs in which I sat to twist right off the floor. Let me be candid here, no climax I have ever experienced, or heard about, could possibly compare. They were, in fact, puny next to this passion I was receiving from the Lord, and there is no sexual innuendo in the word passion.
Then He said, “That’s how you will live when you are fully in My Presence, but you’re not ready to receive that much love from Me, so I give you what you think you can handle. But someday you will live in My Presence continually, and you will love being loved by Me.” There is no fear, no sense of lack, no longings in His Love. It’s the epitome of everything desired.
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